I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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