you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
