i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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