I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize