now i know why i became what i already was.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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