I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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