I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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