We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You pole danced in your parka.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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