Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
