He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
