East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
