No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
