The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
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