): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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