They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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