Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
