I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I think a kid would responsible me up
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize