Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
