Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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