Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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