I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
