it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
