White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
