Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize