I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
