I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
