I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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