am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
