I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
