I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
