did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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