Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
i out mim tonsoeep
There's even glitter on my cock...
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