we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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