nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My feet surprised me
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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