Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
