omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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