I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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