we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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