Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
