I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
