How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize