it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
