Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I have aggressive nipples.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
