Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
how do you play pong handcuffed?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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