Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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