So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
