Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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