She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
