He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
