I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
