Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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