i think my mom watched the whole time
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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