Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
