If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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