well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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