I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize