I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
