Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Randomize