Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
That was an excessively violent trivia night
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Randomize
