Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
