Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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