Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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