what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He better not be in your backpack
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
