How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
