these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
