you didnt know i had herpes?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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