I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
