I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
