I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
