It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
