He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
