Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
