In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
