can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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