He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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