I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
